Success Is Not Winning (Redefining what progress really looks like in performance tennis)
Dominic Ross-Hurst - Feb 2026
In tennis, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that success equals winning. Win the match and things feel good. Lose the match and suddenly it feels like something’s gone wrong. For young performance players, that connection can become even stronger. Results are public. Emotions are high. And because tennis is an individual sport, losses can feel very personal.
One of our biggest jobs as coaches is to help players separate their self-worth from the scoreboard. That doesn’t mean results don’t matter. Of course winning matters. It’s competitive sport, and winning should feel rewarding. But if success is only ever defined by wins and losses, the journey becomes fragile very quickly. And the reality is, tennis simply isn’t a sport built on constant winning.
The Reality of a Performance Tennis Journey
If you zoom out and look at any player’s development, it’s never a straight line. There are always ups and downs.
There will be:
Periods where results come easily
Periods where things feel hard
Tough draws and favourable ones
Bad days, great days, and plenty of average ones
There are times when players win a lot, sometimes because they’re genuinely improving, and sometimes because the level of competition suits where they are at that moment. There are also times when losses start to stack up, even though the player is actually learning more than they ever have before.
The important thing to understand is that players don’t fully control results. Opponents, conditions, nerves, confidence, and stage of development all play a part. What players do control is how they compete, how they respond, and how willing they are to learn.
When we ask players, “How did you get on?”, we’re not really looking for the score first. We’re listening to how they talk about the match.
Success might sound like:
“I stayed calm even though I lost a close set.”
“I stuck to the game plan even when it felt uncomfortable.”
“I didn’t give up after a bad start.”
“I competed right to the last point.”
“I’m annoyed I lost, but I want to get back out there.”
A player who walks off court reflective, motivated, and engaged is succeeding — regardless of what the scoreboard says.
A successful match might be one where a player can say:
“My serve stood up under pressure.”
“I felt really nervous at the start.”
“I stopped doing what we’d practised.”
“I handled that situation better than last time.”
Those conversations are incredibly valuable. They give coaches clarity. They give training direction. And they help players feel more in control of their own development, rather than feeling like results are just happening to them.
Parents play a huge role in shaping how children experience competition, especially in the moments immediately after a match. If success is defined only by winning, post-match conversations often feel tense, emotional, or overly analytical. If success is defined by effort, learning, and mindset, those same conversations become calmer and more supportive.
Often, the most helpful things a parent can do are quite simple:
Ask open questions rather than giving feedback
Allow space if emotions are high
Start with positives
Let the child lead the conversation
Those moments matter more than many people realise. They shape how players feel about competing — and whether they stay in the sport long term.
Enjoys the process
Feels safe to lose and learn
Can talk openly with their coach
Takes responsibility for their development
Is on a successful tennis journey.
Winning matches will always be part of tennis. But developing a resilient, reflective, motivated player is the real goal — and that lasts far longer than any result. When players, parents, and coaches all share that understanding, performance tennis becomes healthier, more sustainable, and far more rewarding for everyone involved.
And that, ultimately, is what success really looks like.